There is no time limit on grief

the truth about grieving

Grief is an individual journey that is not time-bound

Grief takes many forms, many of these are not linear and do not conform to five stages

Children experience grief just as intensely as adults.

Grief as Wholistic

Behavioral

Emotional

Spiritual

Cognitive

Physical

Grief is a behavioral experience. Grief may present with increase or decrease in activities, school/work, hobbies, social activities, and planning. Other experiences may include difficulty sleeping, nightmares, or substance use.

Grief is a physical experience. Grief may manifest in physical ways including headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, weight loss or gain, stomachaches, decreased immunity.

Grief is an emotional experience. The entire spectrum of emotions can be related to grief including anger, sadness, confusion, fear, agitation, depression, relief, apathy, joy, regret, guilt, and/or restlessness.

Grief is a spiritual experience. Grief can impact spirituality including increase or decrease in faith, anger at a higher power and/or questioning values, meaning of life, purpose, and faith.

Grief is a cognitive experience. This may include trouble concentrating, rumination, intrusive thoughts, memory loss, trouble completing tasks, forgetfulness, feeling overwhelmed, confusion, and/or restricted thinking.

Grief and Health

Grief has been linked to increased morbidity and mortality as well as changes in cardiac biomarkers, neuroendocrine functioning, and immune functioning (Scott et al. 2020; Seiler et al. 2020). Lack of social support has been cited as a risk factor for greater grief, depressive symptoms, PTSD, and prolonged grief disorder - a pathology Western medicine defines as failure to transition out of acute grief and failure to integrate grief (O’Connor, 2019; Zisook & Shear, 2009). Reassurance, support, and information are essential components of navigating the grief journey; peer support groups can fill this critical need for those without or distanced from friends, family, community, and/or faith (Zisook & Shear, 2009). Children and adolescents are at a uniquely high risk, following a loss, for disrupted development and grief related adversity that can have lifelong impacts on physical health, mental health, longevity, and success in education/employment (Judi’s House & JAG Institute, 2023). These insights into the impacts of grief provide a strong case for Laurel’s Love Center, and show the risks community members face without a resource like this available.

Buffalo and Grief

Buffalo is a uniquely diverse community, however, many of the unique identities that make up the community, the identities that have helped develop this city, have experienced discrimination by racist and oppressive systems. Despite a diversity score of 73 out of 100, meaning Buffalo is more diverse than most communities, Buffalo is ranked 249th out of 274 cities on Overall Inclusion(Best Neighborhood, n.d.; Urban Institute, 2018). Residential segregation, due historically to racist red-lining development laws and segregation, still deeply impact the Buffalo community (Stacey et al. 2018).

Going further back in time, Erie County is one of the top 15 areas for Native populations, however, 78% of Haudenosaunee are displaced from their tribal lands in this same region(Szczepaniec, 2018). As of 2022, New York State owed the Seneca Nation upwards of $40 million, despite the Seneca Nation paying 25% of slot machine revenues - one of the steepest rates paid by any Native American Nation in the country (Desmond, 2022). These actions coupled with the historical genocide of the Native American people have created a generational trauma that impacts health, quality of life, mental health, and economic disparities (Szczepaniec, 2018).

The COVID-19 pandemic impacted the Buffalo community uniquely due to diversity; COVID-19 has disproportionately impacted People of Color and refugee’s (Atchison, 2020). Lack of culture based rituals, isolation, and fear of socializing have increased negative impacts of grief while also increasing comorbid mental health issues like anxiety and depression (Stacey, 2021). Through the history of Buffalo up to the present day, there is generational trauma and grief that still deeply impacts the individuals of this bright community. Laurel’s Grief Center provides services with the hope of brining the community together with the mission of inclusion to support those who are grieving while respecting lived experiences, culture, and identity.

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief occurs when loss is not appreciated or acknowledged by others, or the way they’re grieving is not considered to be a socially acceptable (Gupta, 2023). Disenfranchised grief can be experienced in losses related to overdose, suicide, police shootings, and incarceration. Disenfranchised grief can also be experienced in loss in the LBGTQ+ community especially in those deaths related to AIDS or those in non-traditional relationships (Gupta, 2023).

Disenfranchised grief can be compounded by shame, guilt, regret, isolation from other grievers, unanswered questions, feeling the death was avoidable, social stigma, fear, and anxiety (Farren, 2017).

Buffalo needs a safe stigma-free space for families to come process grief and in ways that moves beyond talk therapy and rumination. Laurel’s Grief Center seeks to help these individuals engage with their grief and their community in a way that allows for a transformational grief journey.

If you or your people are in crisis or need help, reach out today.

Community Resources: https://socialwork.buffalo.edu/resources/buffalo-supermarket-mass-shooting-resources.html

The Community Health Center of Buffalo: Home – The Community Health Center of Buffalo (chcb.net) Counselors are currently available at 716-986-9199 ext 8021.​​​​​​​

Crisis Services 24-Hour hotline 716-834-3131

Crisis Services Text hotline 716-300-2338 (available Mon-Friday, 6-11pm)

Kid’s Helpline 716-834-1144

PFlag Helpline 716-883-0384 providing resources, education and support through any situation to Buffalo's LBGTQ+ community

24 hour Addiction Hotline 716-831-7007

Never Use Alone hotline 800-484-3731

To get Narcan, through Erie County Department of Health's Opiate Epidemic Task Force, send a text to 716-225-5473, call 716-858-7695

To get Free Fentanyl or Xylazine Test Strips, through Erie County Department of Health's Opiate Epidemic Task Force, send a text to 716-225-5473 or call 716-858-7695

Atchison, G. J. (2020). The impact of COVID-19 on refugee families in Buffalo. Buffalo Rising. https://www.buffalorising.com/2020/07/the-impact-of-covid-19-on-refugee-families-in-buffalo/

BestNeighborhood. (n.d.). Race, Diversity, and Ethnicity in Buffalo, NY. https://bestneighborhood.org/race-in-buffalo-ny/

Desmond, M. (2022, February 9). Seneca Nation announces settlement of longtime casino revenue dispute with NYS. WBFO. https://www.wbfo.org/state/2022-01-13/seneca-nation-announces-settlement-of-longtime-casino-revenue-dispute-with-nys

Farren, J. (2017, August 31). 7 Ways Grief is Compounded by an Overdose Death. ASD - Answering Service for Directors. https://www.myasd.com/blog/7-ways-grief-compounded-overdose-deat

Gupta, S. (2023). Disenfranchised grief: What it means and how to cope with it. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/disenfranchised-grief-definition-causes-impact-and-coping-5221901

Judi’s House & JAG Institute. (2023, August 30). Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model - Judi’s House. Judi’s House. https://judishouse.org/research-tools/cbem/#Childhood%20Bereavement:%20The%20Cost%20of%20Inaction

O'Connor M. F. (2019). Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt. Psychosomatic medicine, 81(8), 731–738. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717

Scott, H., Pitman, A., Kozhuharova, P., & Lloyd-Evans, B. (2020). A systematic review of studies describing the influence of informal social support on psychological wellbeing in people bereaved by sudden or violent causes of death. BMC Psychiatry, 20(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02639-

Seiler, A., Von Känel, R., & Slavich, G. M. (2020). The Psychobiology of Bereavement and Health: A Conceptual Review from the perspective of Social Signal Transduction Theory of Depression. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.565239

Stacey, M. (2021, December 14). How COVID-19 Has Changed Grieving—And What That Means For Our Mental Health. Psycom. https://www.psycom.net/coronavirus-grief

Stacy, C., Meixell, B., Hariharan, A., Poethig, E., & Greene, S. (2018, April 25). Measuring Inclusion in America’s Cities. Urban. Retrieved July 3, 2023,

Szczepaniec, K. (2018, February). Indigenous People of Western New York. Cornell.edu. https://ecommons.cornell.edu/bitstream/handle/1813/73578/Indigenous_People_in_WNY_Final.pdf?sequence=1

Urban Institute. (2018, April 25). Measuring Inclusion in America’s Cities. Urban. https://apps.urban.org/features/inclusion/index.html?city=buffalo_NY

Zisook, S., & Shear, K. (2009). Grief and bereavement: what psychiatrists need to know. World psychiatry: official journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 8(2), 67–74. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2051-5545.2009.tb00217.x

References